Well, maybe just the first two. I LIKED it. I just didn't LOVE it. You all should know the story without me having to tell you by the time I got here: Boy has girl. Girl is willing to put out. Boy shoves her aside so he can watch comic book movies. I see nothing out of the ordinary so far. Then all of a sudden some monster reaches out and grabs girl, sucking her into the movie. That may raise a couple eyebrows. Eventually boy turns into Viewtiful Joe.
The ensuing game is... what's the word I'm looking for... actually, 'viewtiful' pretty much sums it up. This is the Orlando Bloom of video games. The cel-shading gives a comic-book feel, which is really what Nintendo's going for here. So good on them for that. The ambience is completed with some stellar music tracks.
All right, so we have a multimedia lovefest here. What of the actual game? You get a platformer, with some nicely-thought-out bosses and between-level shopping sessions. You buy lives, new moves, whatever tickles your fancy. And while I can see how most people would eat this game up... I think it might be on my end. It's just not the game for me. It probably is for you, but just not me. I don't know what it is that's keeping me from jumping on the bandwagon. Maybe it's the difficulty, maybe it's too linear for a game this day and age, maybe it's a combination of the two. It just wasn't for me. And unfortunately, I'm the one writing the review. It's a good game, don't get me wrong. It just didn't blow me personally away. Viewtful Joe will still get a 4... out of 5.